How Happy Are YOU At Work?

77% of Americans enjoy the time they spend away from their jobs more than the hours they spend working, according to a recent Gallup study. Do you experience any of these conflicts while at work?

While working on a task do you feel mentally “pulled” in opposite directions? For example, part of you says “hurry up – get it done”, while another part says “slow down, this has to be done accurately”.

Is your way of doing things different from someone else’s way of doing things? You may feel comfortable planning as you go, without writing things down, while a co-worker prefers to create detailed, written action plans and to-do lists.

Are you are asked to complete tasks you do not enjoy because they do not come naturally to you? You may find it easy to work on projects that have a lot of interaction with people, but not compiling the statistics for the quarterly report.

All three of these conflicts are related to a person’s behavioral design. Simply put, your behavioral design describes how you prefer to naturally behave. Everyone has a combination of the following four styles. However, one style is usually more prominent.

*Some people focus on the bottom-line, are very results-oriented and prefer to work at a rapid pace.

*Others enjoy interacting with people and being in the spotlight. They like a high degree of people contact.

*Some individuals prefer to work “behind the scenes” and enjoy the planning process while working in a slow, deliberate manner.

*Others are attracted to detailed work such as data analysis and copy-editing.

When you can do what comes naturally to you and interact with people who behave in a similar way as you do, all is well. You feel happy, energized and rewarded. However, when conflict develops, whatever its form, you become miserable. As misery increases, so does stress, tardiness, absenteeism, errors, physical complaints, and turnover.

One of the main reasons so many people are unhappy at work is because they are experiencing one or more of the three types of conflict mentioned above.

Here are some suggestions to help you resolve these behavioral conflicts.

When you find yourself being mentally “pulled”, ask yourself this: “How do I need to behave in order for the project that I am CURRENTLY working on to be successful?” Do you need to “have it done yesterday” or is precision and attention to detail more important? Whichever is more important, let yourself be “pulled” in that direction. Acknowledging this internal dialogue and making a conscious decision how to behave will help reduce the conflict.

When interacting with someone who does things differently than you, first realize that this person probably does not intend to give you a hard time. Their behaviors stem from their preferred behavioral style. Just as you have your way of doing things, so do they. The goal is for both of you to discuss how you each prefer to approach your work and reach some type of compromise.

When projects are assigned to you that do not match your behavioral design, you have several options. You can enlist the help of people whose natural behavior matches the demands of the project. You can also speak with your manager/supervisor about the type of tasks that energize you and request that in the future, those tasks be assigned to you. The most drastic measure (and sometimes the most appropriate) is to remove yourself from the environment – yes, quit! If you are a person who does not like the spotlight and prefers to work behind the scenes and your position constantly requires you to make presentations and public appearances, you will continuously be unhappy. The single most important factor related to job satisfaction is having a job that closely matches your behavioral design.

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Easy Goal Setting

Are you forever trying to … things but never seeming to get them done? You know you should set some goals but you don’t know how to get started? Here is an easy way for you to set goals. Each

Are you forever trying to accomplish things but never seeming to get them done? You know you should set some goals but you don’t know how to get started? Here is an easy way for you to set goals. Each step is represented by a letter form the word GOALS.

The GET Step

Decide what it is you want to get. Do you want to get a new car? A degree? Better at something? Do you want to get away from it all on a vacation? Decide what it is you want to get and write it down. Make a list of all the things you’d like to do and be, a list of all the places you want to go, and the things you want to accomplish.


Organize your plan. First develop a plan by listing every step that it will take to get you what you want. One easy way of doing this is to imagine yourself as having already attained your goal. Then “look back” and make note of all the steps it took you to get there. Don’t worry about the order yet; just list as many steps as you can think of.

Now, organize your plan by prioritizing your list. Make a list of the order that will best accomplish your goal. For instance, if your goal is to get to Hawaii you would need to plan the dates before you make hotel reservations. You would need to have a plan for saving the money before you booked your plane.

If some of the items on your list look overwhelming, break them down into smaller pieces. If you want to write a book, break it down. Start with the table of contents. Write a chapter a month. Write four pages per day. Make each task manageable.


Take some action every day to move you toward your goals. Every week write down the three or four things that are most important to do to move you toward your goals and plan when to do them. Then do them.

I often use my Weekly Prioritizing worksheet. You can too. Write down your top three priorities for the week. Next, list three actions you need to take this week to honor these priorities. The next step is the most important—list the possible distractions you will encounter and how you will eliminate them.

For instance, if one of my priorities were to get my first book published, I would write “book” as one of my priorities. I would then list, “write chapter four before work on Tuesday.” Now, what could distract me? It could be raining Tuesday morning and then I would have to take my son to school. How will I eliminate those distractions? I could ask my husband if he will be available for school transportation or set it up with a neighbor. I could also set aside some time Tuesday night just in case.

By looking ahead and preventing possible distractions before they occur, or by having a secondary plan just in case “plan a” doesn’t work, I will get those things done one way or another.

The LIST Step

Make lists as you go. List what you want. List how to get there. List the obstacles that might get in your way. List how to overcome them. List your action steps. By writing things down, you form a commitment to get them done.

And finallyFind Article, The SUCCESS Step

Enjoy your success each time you accomplish part or all of a goal. Each small success will boost your confidence and give you the motivation to go on and finish something else.

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Characteristics To Help Find The Work Of Your Dreams

“Why am I not happy?” “Why is life a struggle?” “Why doesn’t work, work?” We probe our soul with questions like these, but we will never hear the answers if we don’t take time off in our hectic days to listen. Unless we slow down and take a deep breath, we cannot hear the subtle responses that come from within.

As we get older, the questions about the nature and quality of life come up. By then, though, we are so mired in the car payments and the mortgage and the daily routine, and we are so used to looking for answers outside ourselves, that we fail to recognize the simple truth: We need to find enough quiet space so that we can listen to the answers locked deep inside. We need to stop and let them surface.

Once we take that time, we can reflect on all we have done and all we hope to do, and decide if we are living the life we want or if, instead, it was programmed for us by others. Only then can we listen to our own voice, our own intuition, our own inner wisdom. Only than can we tap into our inherent skills, talents and inner creativity, which form the work for which we were individually designed. Then we will truly reap the rewards of joy and fulfillment as well as a paycheck.

Afterward, when we go back to our busy life, we find that we are whole beings again, not walking machines. If we have chosen to take a break from our careers, the work we choose when we return will be right and satisfying.

Regardless of how we use it, time goes by and then it’s gone. The combined power of every ruler in the world could not change that by decree. So, in the end, the only thing that counts is how we used the time. Is what we’re doing meaningful enough that if we were still doing it 10 or 15 years from now, we would be satisfied with that?

If you just keep going the way you are, ask yourself what you will miss and how it will affect you and the ones you love. If you are losing some of your spirit every year, what kind of husband, wife, father, mother or friend will you end up as after half a lifetime goes by? If you need to take time off to stop the downward momentum, isn’t it worth it?

It takes time and perseverance to find the work and life of your dreams. Here are some characteristics to cultivate that will support you:

Vision – great clarity about what you want. Describe your vision in detail and visualize yourself in your new condition. The more you do this, the more possible, even probable, it seems that you will get there.

Strong intention – determination to get what you want. Pursue your goals when you are thinking, writing, talking, exploring, reading and being, as well as in your actions. Be resolute that you will achieve your objectives. Stay focused and don’t let anything or anyone stand in your way.

Unwavering belief – a belief so strong that it stands up against challenges. Other people, sometimes believing they are being helpful, try to persuade us to be realistic, meaning that we shouldn’t aim too high. Successful people keep their goals high and their expectations inline. People may tell us we are being a dreamer. Successful people are practical dreamers. They have dreams, and they figure out how to make them come true.

Action approach – know what you need to do and do it. If a person wants to drive a car, he gets behind the wheel. To dance, he moves his feet to the rhythm. To find a new job, career or better skills, he researches his options, decides on a plan and implements it. Everything requires movement. Moves toward your goals.

Focus – stay on course. Don’t stop on the way or get sidetracked by fear or the myriad other things that hold one back. Even the best get waylaid now and then, but those who are sure of the path they are on don’t let themselves procrastinate for long. They just put themselves on fast forward and fly.

Faith – truly believe you will get it. Know it is just a matter of time. If things don’t move as fast as you would like, if something goes wrong, if you get unavoidably sidetracked, it doesn’t have a permanent effect. When you fall off the horse, simply get right back on.

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Take Care of Yourself

I read a great line somewhere recently that said ‘We spend all our health while making money - and then have to spend all our money to regain our health.”

America has 76 million baby boomers. Did you know that we are turning 50 at a rate of one every eight seconds? And did you know that a HUGE percentage of folks doing business online today are in that age group?

Well, I don’t know about you. I want to be a success in my business, but I do NOT want to be one of those harried, stressed-out executives that has no energy, a constant headache - or worse – a heart condition, or high blood pressure. And while we are, as a nation, taking better care of our health than ever before, there’s still a long way to go.

So in order to take care of business, I’ve learned how important it is to take care of ME, and I’d like to pass on a few of my secrets …


Do you often find yourself looking for a quick boost to help you get through the day? Many of us turn to a chocolate bar or a second cup of coffee, when what we really need to do is step away from the computer, go outside and take ten deep, satisfying breaths - restoring the level of life-enhancing oxygen to our brains immediately.

If you are on a tight deadline, and really can’t afford to take the time, try energizing with natural ingredients. Next time you find yourself yawning over the keyboard, try anything rich in carbohydrates, B-complex vitamins, vitamin C or amino acids- these are all energy-boosting options.


Everybody has stress in life, especially small business owners – but some of us respond better to it than others. If you are a person who can channel deadlines and other pressures into motivation, then stress will give you the extra energy and drive you need to get through tough spots.

But if you handle it poorly, stress can negatively impact your health - and therefore your business. To protect yourself from potentially harmful long-term effects, look into relaxation techniques, or burn off some extra energy by doing regular physical exercise. You may also benefit from specific homeopathic and herbal ingredients designed to help manage stress.


Healthy brain function can be affected by poor diet, lack of adequate sleep or exercise, stress, injury, illness, and excessive alcohol and sugar intake. Pay close attention to how any of these things are affecting your ability to remember important details. If you find you need to provide additional nourishment for healthy brain function and memory, the B vitamins and amino acids are key. Nutritional supplementation may play an important role here, too – ginkgo biloba and cat’s claw, for example, are known to support memory and mental function.


Your brain is the ‘hard drive’ of your entire body, controlling involuntary tasks such as your heartbeat, breathing, reflexes and blinking. It contains millions of nerve cells that send and receive messages through the activity of chemical messengers called neurotransmitters. To help promote mental well-being, eat a well-balanced diet, exercise regularly, learn more ways to combat stress, and moderate your intake of alcohol and sugar.

Taking care of you will not only nourish your body, it will reward your senses - and pay business dividendsBusiness Management Articles, in the long run!

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Achieving Your Goals with Passion

Some faces scrunch up as if to say, “I wish you had not asked that!” Others look contemplative, as if saying, “Oh, I am so grateful you reminded me of that question, now I can take some powerful action!” And then there are the few who answer with confidence, knowing exactly what they are meant to do by when and how.

What is the question?

“What are your goals for the next “Insert the period of time here.”?

Sometimes the exact phrase is changed. Some people who may look at “Goals” in different ways. For them, the question might be, “What is your vision?” or “What is your intention?”

Nonetheless, the root question is the same. “What do you want to grow towards? Where is the gap in your life you currently want to fill?”

Until this question is answered, aimlessness is what governs your life.

Forever etched in my mind was the first session with Ray. He told me before we got started that he was trying this out much like he would go to the parade to see the Emperor in his new clothes. He was not convinced there was anything to coaching, but since he was curious, he wanted to work with me as he created his newest product.

At the conclusion of the session, I always give fieldwork assignments, as the session itself is what I refer to as “Locker Room Talk”. The game is played out on the field, and the Coach remains on the sidelines. Fieldwork is sort of like the Play book: it brings to life on the field what the Coach has taught in the locker room and during practice. It integrates the lessons into the player’s lives.

One of the assignments included continued work to make his vision crystal clear, to take the cobwebs away, to get inside them with a microscope so nothing would get in the way of creating powerfully.

Ray groaned, as if in pain. “Oh, you have hit one there. I know how goals work. I know writing it down works. I know how important this is. AND I have been ignoring it.”

Later that week, I received an email thanking me for pushing him. In the next six weeks he achieved more than he had achieved in the previous six months. And it all started with a discussion of goals followed by taking action on those goals. Step by step by step.

Below is an outline so you may achieve your goals passionately, just as Ray did.

Goal Secret #1-Paint a PICTURE. Don’t just write your goals in words, craft your goals so you can see and experience the end result. Paint a glorious, three dimensional multi sensory goal instead of a one dimensional, flat goal. When you can clearly see and experience it, you can more easily create it. One way to make a picture is through creating a dream board. Simply cut out pictures from magazines that illustrate aspects of your goal and make a collage. Hang the Dream Board where you can see it frequently. Your picture will quickly and artfully come to reality.

Secret #2-POSITIVE framing of your goal by crafting your goal using a positive perspective rather than a negative perspective. In your goal, you will want to be growing towards something instead of avoiding something. Using positive language attracts positive situations and people into your life. Avoiding stuff brings more stuff to avoid.

Secret #3- Have PASSION for your desired result. Lets face it, you will have more interest in reaching your goals if they are something you are passionate about. If you are living your life based upon someone else’s dreams or someone else’s passion, what do you suppose will happen? Very little of significance-so choose passion!

Secret #4-PRECISION in crafting your goal is critically important in achieving it. On the same point, it is also important to not be totally attached to achieving it exactly as you first created it. I refer to this quality as “Passionate Detachment”. This means your vision is crucially important to you, this particular project and its particular result are simply a piece of it, they are NOT the entire vision and they are NOT you personified. With PRECISION, write your goals such as this: “My intention is to have X number of new accounts by Y date using the following tools 1, 2, and 3”. If you just say “I want to have lots of accounts” well, thats interesting. Just doesn’t mean anything, so it is unlikely you will get to where you want to be very quickly.

Secret #5-POLISH your goal as you grow towards it. One of my favorite examples of polishing goals is Oprah Winfrey, whose goa was to be a Network News Anchor. She never became one, obviously. She did, however, become an American icon, positively effecting millions of people every weekday. She polished her goal, making modifications as her life changed. She loved herself and her vision enough to not be overly rigid.

Cecil B. DeMille, American Film Producer and Director said, “The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.” Being dedicated to your vision and allowing yourself room to create it will bring you to higher heights than you could ever imagine.

Want to be the next Oprah (or whomever you admire)? Polish your goals with passionate precision. Picture yourself already there from a positive perspective. Live PassionatelyPsychology Articles, today.

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Give Your Child the Gift of Self-Esteem

Much has been said about the “gifted child” but in truth every child is born with unlimited potential. As expressed so well by Orison Marden:

“Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action.”

This statement can be true for your child. Not just if he’s a “gifted child” but any child. Indeed, perhaps we should consider a “gifted child” to be a child whose parents have gifted him with a high self-esteem.

Children with high self-esteem are happier and more successful. Low self-esteem is common in children who are performing badly at school, have behavioural problems and suffer from depression.

The Newborn

The “helpless” newborn baby actually comes into the world well equipped with the power to get what she wants. Not only do her cries bring her parents running to tend to her; she also uses her body and facial language to get what she wants. It’s no coincidence that babies learn to smile while they are still very small - it is an essential tool in their armoury of communication. A baby with a disarming smile can frequently wrap mommy or daddy round her little finger!

At this early stage, it’s important to respond to all your baby attempts at communication. Attend to her when she cries (this does not preclude training her gently into a stable routine), mirror her attempts at facial communication and reward the infant sounds she makes by praising her and talking back to her.

The “Can-Do” Toddler

Toddlers are into everything! They are learning so fast about the world around them and want to explore everything, touch everything and even try to eat many things.

It is such a crucial stage and one that is stifled by many parents. Yes, you need to control your child’s behavior so that he doesn’t hurt himself or damage valuable property. But you also need to give him opportunities to express this exploratory behavior without constant criticism and telling-offs.

Put valuables out of reach and supply your child with toys or household items that he can play with safely. Try to find time to get down on the floor and play with your toddler. Let him watch you and imitate you. He could play on the kitchen floor with some pots and wooden spoons while you are cooking.


I want to emphasize up front that I believe discipline is very important, because I don’t want you to think in any of what follows that I’m advocating spoiling your child. Some parents call this “allowing the child to enjoy the freedom of youth.” These parents are entitled, of course, to raise their children however they wish.

But if you want your child to grow into a successful adult, you would do better by teaching her firmly what is and isn’t acceptable in present day society. And, just as importantly, helping her to learn self-discipline and that you will support her in achieving anything she wants, as long as she does so ethically.

Discipline should be sensitive, thoughtful and appropriate. You should strive to never lose your temper but to discipline your child calmly and firmly. When is discipline appropriate? When your child’s actions (or lack of them) may harm herself or others. When is discipline not appropriate? When it is purely for the parent’s own selfish preferences.

Talk to Your Child

Positive talk with your child and generally within the household cannot be over-emphasized. Avoid criticism wherever possible; it is praise that produces good, successful behavior. Be sure to find at least one thing to praise in your child every day. Even better, give praise as often as possible.

Are you having problems finding good behaviors to praise? If so, give your child a task to do that you know he is capable of. Children love earning their parents’ approval. Also remember to praise your child for trying, on those occasions that he is not successful.

Set a good example; talk about your goals and successes, and teach your child by example to accept compliments gracefully. Resist the temptation to put yourself down when you are complimented - instead, say a simple Thank You. That’s an important sign of a healthy self-esteem.

The other side of the coin to talking is, of course, listening. It is very important to listen to your child. When there is something he is upset about, don’t sweep it under the carpet by saying “Don’t be silly!” Whatever it is might seem totally trivial to you but often all your child needs is for you to empathise. “I’m sorry you feel sad about that.” He may then come up with a solution, or put the incident behind him without further help. Or, you can suggest a solution.

The Power of Desire

You can give your child the best possible schooling, teach all the important techniques of success, encourage goal setting and set a fantastic example. But that is not enough! All these good things have one vitally important pre-requisite. Before you can achieve anything, you must know what you really, really want.

A burning desire is the first, most important and essential step towards any major achievement. As a parent, you are in a unique position to influence another person’s desires - your child’s. By the time they reach their teens, you will have lost this influence to a significant degree, as young adults are swayed much more by their peers’ opinions than their parents’.

So make the most of the early years by instilling positive, beneficial desires in your children. The desire to do well academically could shape your child’s further education and career much more than her innate ability.

How can you instil desire? Telling stories is a great way. Children love stories! Be creative and tell stories where the hero or heroine has a burning desire for something, overcomes challenges and set backs, and achieves the desired outcome. Try telling stories where a child achieves academic success, which in turn results in something even more desirable. For instance, one story could tell of a child who has a burning desire to travel to the North Pole. She succeeds academically and thus wins an award, which makes her dream come true. Tailor the stories to your own child’s life and experiences as much as you can.

The famous author Napoleon Hill used story-telling to instil in his almost-deaf son both a burning desire to hear, and a firm belief that his disability would actually bestow upon him a great advantage (although at the time even his father had no idea what that advantage could be). By the time this boy left college, he had against the odds acquired a hearing aid that enabled him to hear clearly for the first time in his life. More remarkably, he had justified his father’s belief by securing a marketing position with the hearing aid manufacturer to bring the same benefit to millions of other deafened people.

“Gifted child”? Give your child the gift of self-esteem, and you will give him the gift of happiness.

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